Never again
by Boredandalone
Summary: Little One-shot on the true value of friendship and the fears of being alone, from Harry's perspective. Hopefully it's not too terrible...


Harry thought back on his life. On all the times he was alone. Before Hogwarts, when it was just him under the stairs, with nothing but the mice to keep him company. Even when he was allowed out of the cupboard, to run errands, such as cooking breakfast, or cleaning the kitchen. Even as Dudley tormented him with his presence he was alone. He was just the freak under the stairs, and boy did Dudley love to remind him of the fact. Even when he was out of the house and in school, surrounded by children his age, he was alone. Though that was even less his fault. Again, that was Dudley's. Tormenting, and bullying any other child who got close, making sure Harry spent everyday by himself, under the shade of the big oak tree. On his first day of school, the tree was the pinnacle of socialization, until Harry ventured over to it one day. Then it became a constant reminder of just how alone Harry was. Just how much of a freak he was. He was different, there was no denying that, if only he had known what made him so different back then. He could have found a way to control it, to use it in his favour. To show Dudley whose boss. To make friends. It would have made life as a young loner a lot easier. In fact, he may have ceased to be a loner. If only the Dursley's told him that there was magic running through his veins, how life would have been different. Instead it wasn't till first year that he made a friend. Dudley now unable to scare people off. With his gift came more impossibilities. Who'd have known that friendship would be so hard, especially for the famed 'boy who lived'.

Everybody pretended to want to be his friend, of course, it wasn't friendship they were after, it was something else. Fame? Fortune? Reputation? Anyone's guess. Growing up with friends must completely screw with your values. Growing up with none however, allows you to appreciate the full meaning of friendship. Ron had been without many friends growing up as well, and whilst he had plenty of family to make up for it, he still understood the importance of friendship more than others, true, sometimes he missed how it was more important for other people, and sometimes even himself, which led him to make the easy mistakes of prematurely abandoning friendship and branding it as a lost cause, but he had always come back in the end. He would always come back and embrace the friendships that had lasted the majority of his life, and certainly his schooling life, sometimes it would take more time than others, and on few occasions that wasn't his fault, but more timings. But he would always come back. He has, and probably never will fully appreciate true friendship though, having had it for the entirety of his life - no matter how few friends he had, before Hogwarts. Not like Harry. Or Hermione.

Neither of them had ever had friends before Hogwarts, both down to near enough the same reasons. They were different, or 'weird' as bullies would prefer to brand them. Hermione was a know-it-all with buck teeth, and Harry was a messy haired freak, with ridiculously large glasses. None of them would fit in with the muggle world, for none of them truly belonged there. If only they had known that before turning eleven. Then maybe it would have been easier. Maybe then they wouldn't have been alone. Eleven years of being alone was worth the friendship they gained in Hogwarts though, Hermione didn't have an easy start, but after the 'troll incident' they had a thick friendship that would only ever slip over misunderstandings, mistrust and selfishness. Fifth year being a perfect example, how easily Ron had thrown the towel in on their five-year friendship due to his own mistrust and his lack of understanding, not to mention his stubborn-ness and jealousy. Not taking into account how dangerous it was for Harry to have been entered into the tri-wizard tournament, because he was too caught up on the fact that he wasn't 'special' enough to be sabotaged and sent straight to the darkest wizard the world has ever seen. Hermione hadn't turned her back on Harry however. Because she needed his friendship more than Ron would ever understand. Just like Harry needed hers.

It wasn't always like that though. Back in third year, Harry was sure that he didn't need her friendship, not when she gave away his new broom. He could see now the dangers of accepting a new broom, from some anonymous, what with a convicted murderer out for your blood... But he was naïve, and it was a new broom, the best in the market, and she had it taken away from him, in what he would label as jealousy, but what was actually concern. He had misunderstood her intentions, seen them as the opposite of what they were and 'broke up' with her (friend-ship wise) over it. Ron had soon followed, and she was left alone. Just like every year before Hogwarts, she was alone, because Harry was wrong. Hagrid had put him in his place though, made him realise the effect that the lack of Harry-Hermione friendship was having on the both of them, and just like that, they were best-friends again. In time for the end of year finale, in which they would run from werewolves, time travel, save a man (and hippogriff) from certain death, and cast one of the most powerful patronus' the world had ever seen. The power of friendship.

Since that moment Harry and Hermione had vowed to stick together, and Harry only threatened the friendship with his selfish actions once more, in sixth year. He became obsessed with the book belonging to the half blood prince, that momentarily, friendship became meaningless. Or more, he managed to convince himself that it had, but he was never able to break his friendship with Hermione despite how much Harry accomplished due to the book infuriated her. That was when friendship conquered all once more.

After being alone for the first decade of his life, he found that he was never alone again. Even in fifth year when almost the whole school was against him, Hermione stood by him. Even when he was expected to feel most alone, he wasn't. Because he had Hermione, and he had Ron. And there was a reason they were called the golden trio. Because they were almost always together, neither of them was ever alone, because they were always together. Harry would never again have to live his greatest fear, being alone. He still worried about it, late at night, he would hear her breathing but even then, a small part of him imagined life without her, and without Ron, a life alone.

Never again would he fear that, because looking at the ultrasound screen, looking at Hermione's big grin, and Ron's equally large grin as he pats him on the back and congratulates them, he know's that he will NEVER be alone again.


End file.
